I was lying in bed last night, listening to music from the various Avengers 'verse movies (as you do) and got to thinking about my favorite moments from each. I'm too close to the Avengers movie itself to have a single favorite (SO MANY!!) so instead! Favorite moments in the other movies:

1) Iron Man

After Tony finds out about the weapons shipment to Golmera, he's back at the Malibu pad, futzing with the repulsor from his armor, listening to a newscast. And there's a moment as he's pacing, right after he's set off his first pulse from the armor, trashing half the lab, when we see a close up of his face - he looks tired, a little gutted, a little angry. And the voiceover on the newscast says "where are my mother and father?"

GETS ME EVERY TIME.

2) Iron Man II

I saw this one before I saw the first Iron Man movie, so here I am, sitting watching some guy jump out of a plane, zoom into an Expo, and then stand there preening and grinning while dancing girls high-kick his arrival to ACDC. And I thought, "God, this man is an asshole." Followed by, ". . . why am I so charmed?"

And thus began my relationship to Tony Stark.

3) Captain America

No question - Steve arriving back at camp with his rag tag bunch of freed POWs in tow. I love the music, I love the triumph of the moment, but most of all I love his face. He's not coming back expecting glory - he's expecting he'll be court martialed. And his expression is satisfaction for having done the right thing without expecting any reward.

GETS ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS.

4) The Hulk II

(I don't even know what they called the second Hulk movie. I'm sure it had a catchier title than Hulk II). I would love to say "the end credits" (because omg, that movie was bad), but actually it's Betty going up to Hulk, unafraid, and saying "we're okay. It's okay." I feel like this is my relationship with my PTSD - me looking at it and going, no really, we don't have to freak out right now, we're okay. But it's also just a lovely moment about the power of connection and the wonderful human impulse to push past fear. Love!

5) Thor

"Better call it, Coulson, 'cause I'm starting to root for this guy." asdjhflajhfd :D :D :D :D

thank you to amanuensis1 for reminding me of that moment :D

What are yours?

Kid Fears by sheafrotherdon
~ 632 words, Steve, Danny. Season two finale fix-it (made a dozen times better by dogeared's fabulous beta work).

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At the urgent care clinic this morning they ask me, any body aches? and I fumble for the answer, because yes, every day. I turn my attention inside myself, listen to the burn in my joints and find it's only in my shoulders, in my arms. PTSD, then, not something connected to the swollen throat that brought me to the exam room – at least not directly, at least not as far as I know.

Fatigue? the nurse asks, and I listen to the differences inside myself all over again.

( Mention of past suicidal ideation beneath the cut )

Choosing Anger by sheafrotherdon
~1000 words, PG-13. Bruce's story. With grateful thanks to dogeared for beta. Also at AO3.

warning: attempted suicide; spoilers for The Avengers.

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I have a question about a tiny bit of dialogue from the Avengers movie, but it's very spoilerish, so behind the cut!

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eta: got it! thank you!

account rendered (617 words) by Siria
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Avengers (2012), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton
Summary:

Clint lies in the debrief. [Movie spoilers]

SUCH PERFECT BACKSTORY, I CANNOT EVEN.

Are you at work? Unable to rewatch the Avengers on continuous repeat, except in your head? Counting the hours until you can go back and watch it for the thirtieth time?

Then have I got the link for you: Sam's recap of the Avengers over at Hey, Don't Judge Me. Read! Glory in all the moments you loved the first (and second, and third, and . . . we'll just keep it vague, okay) time(s) you saw it. Root for the good guys! Hiss at the bad guys! Make toddler fists of joy at all the appropriate moments \o/

Every word is a spoiler, naturally.

Greek Food in Present Tense by dancinbutterfly - post-Avengers fic. Chock full of spoilers, be warned if you have not yet seen the movie! All about Clint, and Natasha, and team, and Clint. Contains descriptions of PTSD (warning for anyone for whom that might be triggering) and it's done so well, handled so beautifully - the whole thing is just gorgeous.

The lovely esteefee is hosting a multi-fandom hugfest over at her journal, right [here]! All kinds of hugs are welcome, all fandoms, all friendships, all ships. I've written some [Steve/Danny] (H50), [John/Rodney] (SGA), [Steve and Natasha] and [Steve/Tony] (Avengers 'verse, no spoilers). COME JOIN IN THE FUN! :D

I just caught the end of Return of the King on TNT, and have the following to observe:

1) Orlando Bloom has never looked hotter than in the reunion scene in Frodo's bed chamber. Nor will he ever.

2) Karl Urban, holy god. I forgot what a hotass he was as Eomer.

3) Sam and Frodo are gay beyond my remembering of it. I know, newsflash at 11.

That is all :D

"Feelings are not the enemy. Feelings are the goal."

So says my therapist. I know she's right, but goddamn, feelings are inconvenient. (Rational self points out that not feeling things hasn't been terribly convenient either. I may be sticking out my tongue at rational self.)

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Wheeeeeeee! The lovely regonym has made a podfic of [Pigeonville, USA] my Clint/Phil story about Phil's life on the Steve Rogers for President campaign trail, 2016. The podfic is completely delightful, and you can download it / listen to it at [amplification] or at 's AO3 page [here]

\o/ thank you, ! \o/

Dear flisters in the know:

I'm making a powerpoint for a presentation I have to give this weekend, working from a template someone else gave me. The original slides are dark green with pale green writing, and it strikes me that in terms of accessibility, that's got to suck. What's the best color combination to ensure the best visual accessibility for people reading these slides? (I am totally okay with any combination - I am not wedded to the green theme at all.)

thank you for any help / ideas!
me

[A Brief History of Anxiety] by George Makari at the New York Times. Makari is a psychiatrist, and I thought this was a lovely (and yes, very brief) reflection on what we've understood anxiety to be in the past, and what we understand it to be today:

For anxious troubles are quintessential mind-body phenomena. They implicate a possible symphonic interaction of DNA, hormones, neurons, anticipatory fantasies, memories and thoughts, as well as the constraints and opportunities of our culture.

Makari also hints at how difficult it is to be anxiety's treating physician, which is a pretty interesting perspective in and of itself.

Joss Whedon Directs the Big-Budget 'Avengers' - story at the NYTimes (getting there via the link will mean it doesn't count toward your 10 free articles a month, woot!)

I said in the header of my last story that it was a fic that existed [somewhere between wish fulfillment and the chance to figure something out.] I started writing it early in the week, but it wasn't until yesterday, with it almost ready to go to beta, that I recognized what had been going on.

( Which was . . .  )

Blue Stars Shiver by sheafrotherdon
~ 2000 words. Steve Rogers and Tony Stark (pre-slash). Avengers Movie-verse.

A story about PTSD that's somewhere between wish fulfillment and a chance to figure things out. Title from Pablo Naruda. With grateful thanks to dogeared for betaing.

( Often, Steve hurts - body pain, bone-deep, a slow burn . . . )

This will be the best ten minutes you spend in your day, I guarantee it: the story of Caine, who built a cardboard arcade during his summer vacation, and the guy who organized a flashmob to come play the games because Caine never got any customers. MY HEART.